Guilt. Mothers. Daughters

Originally published at Jen’s Corner. You can comment here or there.

I wrote this about my mom a few years ago. I was thinking about it today, and felt the need to post it here.

My mom was born in 1931 in Kansas City, MO. Her father molested her from when she was about 12 till she was about 16. Her mother didn’t believe her when she told about the incest. She had kept quiet about it to protect her younger sister — it didn’t work. Finally, her father was sent to jail for the incest, and her mother blamed her for it. She married young — 17 I believe — mainly to get away from home.

In 1950, she had Jimmy, in 1952 she had Michelle. In the meantime, she had told her husband about the incest with her father. When things got rocky in her marriage [Her husband hit her once, she decked him and told him if he did it again she’d kill him — that’s my mom! :) ] he suggested that she visit her family in Denver for a while to “cool off.” When she came back (about two weeks later) he had changed the locks and had filed for divorce on the grounds of abandonment.

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I do believe in fairies, I do! I do!

I’m having a very nice, quiet weekend with sqlrob. Sleeping in, minor household chores, video games (Simpson’s Hit & Run), and movies. Last night we watched Peter Pan. I liked it a lot – definitely a lot darker than Disney’s version. Jason Issacs was very yummy both as Dad and as the nefarious Hook. Honesty demands that I admit I cried when Tinkerbell was dying. <grin>

Today we watched From Hell, a movie based on Jack the Ripper. That was a good movie. It wasn’t as gory as I’d feared, and the mystery draws you in. Fascinating flick, with a very good cast. I guess you can’t go wrong with Captain Jack Sparrow, Bilbo, and Hagrid, eh?

In other news, today marks my third LJ anniversary. When I started this silly thing, I had no idea I’d actually use it at all, let alone fairly regularly. I’ve never been able to keep a “real” journal – I’d write a day or two, then not again for months and months. In fact, yesterday I typed up four years worth of paper journal entries. It’s not nearly as monumental as it sounds – it was only 18 entries. I did it so that I’d have a record along with this journal – the entries are locked for now. Frankly, they’re pathetic. It’s interesting to see how I’ve changed – and how I haven’t.

All in all, being online and posting my thoughts and (some) feelings to my website, Usenet, and now LiveJournal has been a positive thing. I’ve grown, I’ve changed, and I like to think that I’ve made some good friends. Finding my husband wasn’t half bad either!

What’s next?