More John Moore, plz

A Fate Worse Than Dragons

In an attempt to win the hand of Princess Gloria in marriage, Sir Terry slays a dragon-only to discover he’s killed the dragon in a neighboring kingdom and inadvertently earned the devotion of the wrong princess. And everyone knows that getting stuck with the wrong girl is truly a fate worse than dragons.

This is the forest primeval, where the murmuring pines and hemlocks, bearded with moss, stand like Druids of eld, and the young elms sway like sailors in the eleventh hour of a twelve-hour liberty. This is the forest primeval, where golden eyes and white fangs flash silently in the ever-present twilight, and the roe startles and leaps at a rustle in the dry leaves. This is the forest primeval, where it is lunchtime.

In fact, it’s pretty much always lunchtime in the forest primeval, or even in the forest contemporary, which makes much more use of open space and natural light and attracts a younger crowd of predators.

If you like your fairy tales with tongue firmly in cheek, you’ve got to read John Moore.

Heroics for Beginners

Prince Kevin Timberline must retrieve Ancient Artifact Model Seven from the clutches of the evil Lord Voltmeter–He Who Must Be Named–before said evil Lord unleashes his Diabolical Plan.

Luckily, Kevin wields a secret weapon that will cause the forces of Darkness to tremble: The Handbook of Practical Heroics.

The Unhandsome Prince

Caroline kissed every frog in the swamp until she found the one that turned into a prince–only Prince Hal isn’t the handsome specimen she expected to find. Unless she can learn to love the princely sum of his parts, it’ll be unhappily ever after.

Bad Prince Charlie

After the king of Damask dies, Bad Prince Charlie is put on the throne to divert attention from his uncles’ plan-to procure Weapons of Magical Destruction.